February 04, 2010

The NEED to Write

I have had a very interesting week, and it got me thinking about writing.  I have talked to so many people and heard so many great stories, rah rah, go team.  And you know what?  I have a great story to tell, and I need to write more about it.  I've done so much writing in the past; it was so therapeutic and so very grounding when I needed to go back and know exactly how I felt.  Unfortunately, I am now in that group of "oh, that paper is long gone - didn't you have a backup?"

When I first starting writing on my web site and my blog, it was wonderful.  It was such a great outlet and a way to journal those thoughts.  There is so much history that I would love to share as well – not to mention more of the things that go on daily.  Now, it seems all I can keep up with are some texts and facebook statuses.  I don't want it to be just that, but right now, it's all I can do.  And I do not like that at all.

"What would YOU do if you were faced with that situation?"  I am just quoting a very great speech I heard recently (more on that another time because it has its own merits).  There are certain very difficult questions you can be faced with, that can never really be answered.  “Why me?” was another such great question.  Those are the situations that people live through, however they did, and want to share that experience with others.  Even affecting one person in a positive way is better than none at all.

Compared to the story I did hear, my stories aren't much, but I want to tell them.  Why?  Because I think in the end, they are encouraging.  When you are faced with real, serious situations, it will change you.  It will show you your true character.  And sometimes reading about those things before you are ever faced with them personally is a tool on your side.  Often hearing stories way beyond what you will ever endure gives you a new perspective on your own life.

I wish I had more time to write.  Before anyone asks me why I don't do it when I have downtime is because 1 - my downtime is pretty much non-existent; 2 - when I start to write, I don't want to stop.  I get in a groove and want to write without doing anything else and definitely without interruption...which pretty much eliminates that possibility for many more years.  Maybe I'll be inspired enough to start writing little chapters, even if just for myself, to make sure the brain cells that are dying off by the day don't forget too much more.  Finally 3 – I know these thoughts aren’t perfectly put together, but I’ve started to take a new approach…I’m going to write whatever is on my mind, even if sometimes (or most times), it comes out disjointed.  I am tired of only writing work emails so this is a fresh start for me.  By the end of the day, my brain is tired, give me a break. ;-)

If nothing else, I can only hope the 'non-writing' of my story is being reflected in my kids.  That they are influenced positively by the things we (my husband and I) do, and are getting the foundations for being strong people.  I suppose that is the ultimate goal in life, that your kids get the best parts of yourselves and none of the extra baggage.

I still want to write more.  I think I need it.

(and by the way, if I find that perfect formula for being parents, I'll be sure to share!)